I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that men want s*x. More than that, they want to feel wanted. When was the last time you initiated s*x? I don’t mean, when was the last time that you said, “I’m going to sleep soon, so we’ve got a few minutes” or dropping some other subtle hint. I’m saying, when was the last time you aggressively kicked off the party? If your man is always the one starting things off, he may begin to question if you really want him or if this is just an obligation for you. Sure, we’ve all got crazy schedules, never-ending to-do lists and we’re bordering on exhaustion, but we shouldn’t sacrifice intimacy because life is gonna happen…and keep happening. Here are a few ideas for how to get things going:
1. Make it last all day: Send him sexy messages throughout the day to let him know what’s in store for later. Keep this in mind: After you’ve made the promise, don’t renege; it’ll only leave him feeling frustrated.
2. Play the role: Whether you’re a sexy nurse, naughty cop or innocent schoolgirl, role playing can do wonders for getting both of you in the mood.
3. It’s not a job: Be enthusiastic about sexy time with your man. No guy wants to feel like you’re only doing this because you have to. Even if you’re not necessarily in the mood, push past those feelings for a bit and think of the payoff: s*x is a mutually beneficial activity. It increases endorphins, reduces stress, burns calories and you’ll probably sleep better. Win!
4. Talk that talk: You might feel shy or embarrassed just coming out and saying “let’s get it on”, so why not make it fun? Decide on a code word or signal that let’s your man know that it’s about to go down. Whether it’s the old tie on the door knob or a special word or phrase that only you two know the meaning of, it’ll serve as the kickoff to a night (or day, or afternoon) of fun.
At the end of the day, being physically intimate with him, making him a priority, and listening to him (really listening, not just hearing or problem solving) are things that are really important to him and as his wife, they should be important to you too.