I’m amazed at the amount of relationships and marriages that are being torn apart not because of infidelity or financial issues and not because of lack of communication with each other, but because of too much communication with others! Let’s discuss a few reasons why you should keep your relationship issues inside of your relationship!
While you may go home and kiss and make up, your friends and family will keep your mate under the same bus that you threw them under.
1. You may forgive but your family and friends won’t forget.
We often use the words “don’t judge me” yet we don’t realize that a lot of times people are only drawing conclusions from what they see and from how others say you behave. If all you ever do is come to your friends and family with negative things about your mate, then how can you ask them not to view your mate in a negative light. While you may go home and kiss and make up, your friends and family will keep your mate under the same bus that you threw them under. If you are going to vent to your friends about the negative, be sure to do the same with the positive. If you don’t, then you can’t wonder why the tension is always high and why they give your mate dirty looks and bad mouth their name. Your friend and family alliance lies with you and the negative talk will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
2. It will betray the trust in your relationship.
Your mate wants to know that some things are between you and them ONLY. Your relationship is supposed to be one of the places where you can be completely vulnerable, thus when every issue makes it outside of your relationship trust will eventually be lost. This will make it harder for your mate to want to come to you with any issues and eventually communication will break down. If trust is the foundation of the relationship, don’t make your mate feel insecure by telling all of your business to your friends and family.
3. Your united front will be split.
How can you be considered a united front if you and your mate never seem to be on the same page. While you may think y’all are united, it won’t seem like that to anyone else if all you ever do is go and tell other people when y’all are at odds. You should have your mate’s back and they should have yours and that should be evident to anyone on the outside looking in! You can’t tell all of the business and then wonder why no one takes your “union” seriously.
4. People can’t and don’t keep secrets.
I know your friends told you “they weren’t gonna tell anyone” and your family told you it was only between you and them, but we all know it doesn’t work that way. Friend A tells friend B and cousin X tells auntie Y and the next thing you know the entire neighborhood and family knows and the judgement begins. What started off as a small disagreement between you and your spouse has turned into divorce rumors that turn into even bigger disagreements. Look, I know we all need someone to talk and vent to sometimes, but we have to be conscious about the impact it has when we share too much of our relationship business with others. Unless in the cases of abuse or someone being harmed, the best course of action is to consult an objective professional to help give insight or to moderate or to solve the issue inside you.